Hard Reset Your Life In 3 Months
Just under 3 years ago, I hit what was hands down the lowest point of my life.
I’d just come out of a 10-year relationship. Toward the end of that breakup (and for about 6 months after), I was getting sick what felt like every other week.
I couldn’t sleep. I’d lost my appetite. Everything felt pointless. I didn’t want to do anything.
And while all this was happening, I was still trying to run a business, manage a team, and hold myself together.
Going through the end of a long-term relationship is brutal. This isn't new or groundbreaking.
But the hardest part wasn’t the breakup.
It was what came after.
Once the dust had settled, I had to look at myself. And that’s what really rocked me.
I had become someone I didn’t recognize. Someone I didn’t like. Someone I didn’t want to be around.
The realization of not wanting to be around yourself is horrible.
At the time, it absolutely sucked. I didn’t think that feeling would ever go away.
But now, looking back, it was also one of the best periods of my life. Possibly the most transformative.
Because without everything crumbling the way it did, I never would’ve done what came next.
I forced myself to hard reset my entire life.
Not one or two areas. Everything.
Most people live the same day over and over and call it a week.
Those weeks turn into months. The months into years. And before they know it, they call it a “life.”
It’s sad to think about this, or even want to acknowledge it, but just look around. Most people are on autopilot.
Waiting for things to magically change. Or worse, ignoring what clearly needs to change until it all blows up in their face.
That was me.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
You don’t have to wait for everything to break.
You can hard reset your life before it explodes.
Here’s how I did it.
In my experience, this is how you push a hard reset on your life:
1. Face reality.
This is the hardest step, because you’ve got to look at all your flaws. The bad habits. The thought patterns.
The stuff you would never share with anyone or don’t want to admit to yourself.
But unless you look at all of it (and I mean all of it), you’re just delaying change.
Write it down. Every single thing.
There are two reasons for this:
You see it clearly, not just in your head, but in front of you
You also need this list to properly do the next step.
2. Design your future self.
You can only change when you’re clear on what the change is.
Until then, it’s just vague and abstract. Your mind will morph it daily. And it will change over time.
Your mind has a funny way of deceiving you, but maybe this isn't your mind doing this; maybe it's your ego.
Either way, you have to get clear.
If you've ever tried to change an aspect of yourself in the past, and you didn't write out what needed to change, I bet that over time, that change didn't seem as important.
The way I did this was simple:
Take everything from Step 1, and look at the opposites.
If there are things you want to change, there’s probably a version of you who already lives the opposite way.
That’s the one you’re trying to build.
3. Design your future lifestyle.
Your future self is not the same as your future lifestyle.
Think about how you want to live.
What do you do?
How do you do it?
Who are you doing it with?
One of the best exercises I’ve done is to write out your “average perfect day.”
Not your best day ever, just a day you’d be happy to repeat, but this time, not on autopilot.
That helped me refocus on how I wanted to work and live.
It eventually led to me closing a multi-six-figure business, co-founding an AI company, and going all in on writing.
4. Fix your mental health.
Other people will probably tell you there are certain ways to fix your mental health, but I can only tell you what worked for me.
The two most effective things I’ve found:
Time alone
Breathwork
Spending time by yourself forces you to get comfortable with who you are.
Being comfortable in your own skin is challenging for so many people. They are addicted to being around people all the time.
They hate seeing gaps in a calendar or no social events booked.
You'll never get to know yourself or what you're thinking if you're always doing something or around people.
Breathwork regulates your nervous system. And a regulated nervous system gives you clarity. It helps you think.
Most people live their lives stuck in “fight or flight.” This pulls you out of that. It helps to regulate your inner state.
5. Fix your physical health.
For the first 3–6 months after I decided to reset, I didn’t have a program or plan.
The only rule was: Move every day.
Yoga. Walking. Lifting. Running. Didn’t matter.
Moving every day releases feel-good hormones, and that has a downstream effect on your mental health, too.
For 9 months, I forced myself to train with other people and join fitness classes. Not because I especially enjoyed those classes, but to work out with other people.
It's probably one of the most therapeutic things you can do for your physical and mental health.
6. Get clear on your values.
Most people have no clue what their core values are.
That’s why you see so many people pleasers. It's why so many people feel lost, frustrated, or stuck.
They’re living out of alignment, but they don’t know why. You won’t figure it out unless you take the time to work it out.
What do you stand for? What matters to you? What do you not want to compromise on anymore?
Answer those, and you’ll start to move very differently.
It took about a year for things to start shifting.
The weird part?
Nothing felt like it was changing during that time.
I still felt heavy. Still questioned myself. Still had days where it all felt the same.
But somewhere around the 6–8 month mark… It was like everything shifted at once.
And I realized, it wasn’t random.
It was all the choices I’d made in those first 3 months. When nothing felt like it was working… but I kept showing up anyway.
You have to keep voting for who you want to become, every single day.
If you decide to do a hard reset on your life, know this:
It will feel like nothing is changing, eveything will feel and look the same
But then one day you'll wake up and eveything will be different. You'll have an entirely new outlook on life, yourself, and what you want to do
Even the people in your life will probably be different.
You'll have clarity and direction like never before
Life is fucking awesome.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.